Ever said anything astoundingly stupid online, or read something amazingly idiotic said by a friend online? Were these quotes the result of a typo, or due to ignorance of some sort? Did these quotes make you seem unintentionally homosexual, involved in an act of incest/bestiality/self humiliation?
Whatever the quote, you were probably glad later that it was just an in-joke to share with the friends who were party to that chat, correct? It's not as though anyone else out there would know about the horrifyingly n008ish thing that you'd said.
Well, that is, unless your friends knew about Bash. Bash.org is a website which does nothing but compile such hilarious quotes, which can be viewed at random, by the latest accepted, or by the top 100-200 by rating from readers.
A sample from the website:
death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
ktp753>ouch.
death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad
Be warned though, the website may be NSFW as many quotes make it onto the website because they are funny due to sexual/rascist humor, and many contain swearing. Understandably (at least I feel) because most of these quotes were submitted by people talking in mIRC, Instant Messengers, or in MMO's, and many of the submitters were speakers of the 1337.
So, if you consider yourself versed in the language of the nerd, or just enjoy the often unintentional stupidity of others, kill some time reading over at www.bash.org .
*note
You can copy and paste quotes from conversations directly into a "submit" form they have there. If it's stupid or hilarious enough, it may make it onto the site for others to enjoy. Hurrah!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Billy's Balloon
How could I have forgotten to post this!
I apologize, seriously. I meant to post about this when it was first introduced to me, some two weeks back, but I kept forgetting.
In any case, I'm talking about Don Hertzfeldt. Don Hertzfeldt is an animator who, even if you've never heard of him, you've probably seen a reference to his work. For instance, the pop-tart commercials: that's not his work, but it's closely based on his style. In fact, Don has never once made a commercial that actually aired on TV, though he has received world-wide acclaim for his animations and experimental methods.
"World-wide?" You must be thinking, "Then why haven't I ever heard of him?"
Probably because Don believes that commercials are "lies," has a distaste for corporations, and seems to have a genuine appreciation for art and animation purely as a medium through which to express one's self. And what does he express?
Only some of the most twisted, surreal and at times extremely dark humor I have ever been witness to, as well as a talent to touch on emotions and themes we've all experienced and can identify with. Don uses simplistic black and white figures (for instance, Billy, as seen here) and a few accent colors, as well as easy to read facial features to make "stick figures" express more emotion in a shorter space of time than most professionals do in their first tries. Oh, did I mention? Don taught himself how to animate. That's right.
In the world of Hertzfeldt's imagination, balloons viciously attack small children, eyes explode, and sometimes people's legs grow regardless of their body. I highly recommend looking this guy up, and watching a few of his cartoons. Should you have any interest, here's his website, where you can read his journal, buy his stuff, etc., and here are some of my personal favorites, as seen on youtube. Enjoy!
Billy's Balloon
Rejected
Welcome to the show
I apologize, seriously. I meant to post about this when it was first introduced to me, some two weeks back, but I kept forgetting.
In any case, I'm talking about Don Hertzfeldt. Don Hertzfeldt is an animator who, even if you've never heard of him, you've probably seen a reference to his work. For instance, the pop-tart commercials: that's not his work, but it's closely based on his style. In fact, Don has never once made a commercial that actually aired on TV, though he has received world-wide acclaim for his animations and experimental methods.
"World-wide?" You must be thinking, "Then why haven't I ever heard of him?"
Probably because Don believes that commercials are "lies," has a distaste for corporations, and seems to have a genuine appreciation for art and animation purely as a medium through which to express one's self. And what does he express?
Only some of the most twisted, surreal and at times extremely dark humor I have ever been witness to, as well as a talent to touch on emotions and themes we've all experienced and can identify with. Don uses simplistic black and white figures (for instance, Billy, as seen here) and a few accent colors, as well as easy to read facial features to make "stick figures" express more emotion in a shorter space of time than most professionals do in their first tries. Oh, did I mention? Don taught himself how to animate. That's right.
In the world of Hertzfeldt's imagination, balloons viciously attack small children, eyes explode, and sometimes people's legs grow regardless of their body. I highly recommend looking this guy up, and watching a few of his cartoons. Should you have any interest, here's his website, where you can read his journal, buy his stuff, etc., and here are some of my personal favorites, as seen on youtube. Enjoy!
Billy's Balloon
Rejected
Welcome to the show
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Excreta and The Eye
For the past two days, I've been suffering a horrible bout of what I really do hope is just a strain of the flu. Short of mind-searing imagery, I'll describe none of what my body has been expelling via projectile force and instead whine about the headaches, the shivering, the constant chest pain, the dizziness, etc. etc.
My body hasn't rebelled against me like this in years, and I really am quite upset, but as my temperature has finally returned to normal and seems to have leveled off, I hope that this will all be over by tomorrow.
If you've read this far, don't fear! This entry actually isn't all about my illness. I'm actually updating to talk about something I did while ill: my recent viewing of the original "The Eye."
Yes, for those of you that didn't know, "The Eye" is just one more of what seem to be a tidy package of horror remakes coming out of Asia (The Ring (1 and 2), The Grudge (1 and 2), Pulse, One Missed Call, etc). Now, I've had the privilege of watching most of the originals and comparing them to the American remakes, and I'm going to be honest - while the way we in America seem to destroy the story-lines of these movies always makes me feel a little bad, the production values and effects are pretty much always better. (I'm going to ramble a little and say, yeah, I know - our country as an audience are criticized for having weak imaginations concerning what we see on screen, visual dependency and a huge need for plot explanations at every turn, and therefore our effects "need" to be better to make a good movie (I don't believe this is always the case, but the general populace would seem to disagree with me, what with its love of explosions and all). ) In this rare situation though, I passed up on seeing a horror flick - that is, "The Eye" (2008), featuring Jessica Alba. I mostly discounted it because the story seemed so... well, used. Patient receives donor organs, starts doing/seeing odd things via cellular-memory, finds out donor was someone weird, blah blah blah - I can't tell you how many short films and stories out of the '80's and '90's I'd seen or read based on this plot. And it being an American remake, especially one whose previews seemed to promise a lot of jump-scares and action, it just didn't seem worth the cost of a ticket, not to mention the fact that it received absolutely horrible reviews from most critics, both acclaimed and blogger alike.
(For those of you who couldn't figure out the entire movie based on the previews, the movie is about a blind girl who acquires vision through a cornea transplant (I'm a little confused as to how in the world that would work, as the cornea has very little to do with the actual process of seeing, at least to my knowledge - in both movies it seems more like they transplanted the area directly around the pupil, or the iris), only to find that her new vision also allows her to see the spirits of the dead, as well as glimpses of the future, or oncoming tragedies.)
However, when a copy of "Gin Wai (or "Jian Gui")," (2002) that is, the original "The Eye" from Hong Kong, crossed into my hands for a short amount of time (free of cost) I couldn't resist watching it. What a delight! There really were no jump-scares to speak of, but the overall mood was lightly disturbing and highly intriguing. I found myself not so much attached to the main character, as to the ghosts she was seeing (an interesting twist which I'm almost positive was intentional). The artistic direction was also surprisingly strong - color schemes were subtle but constant for each scene and helped direct the mood, and I was forced into a sort of "nearsightedness" by a constant, nearly maddening blurring of the background that wore away as time progressed and, logically, Mun (the name of the main character in the HK original) adjusted to her new vision. While I'm sure I'll be greatly disappointed when I do finally watch the remake, I'm definitely going to rent or purchase it at first opportunity sheerly to see if it is one of the elusive examples of a direct translation of the original but with better effects. Why? Because of the previews! They were, from what I saw while watching the original, nearly frame for frame exactly the same thing.
Below are some of the images I was able to snatch off line based off comparisons I saw in the movie and what was available. I even managed to find some direct video comparisons on YouTube, so enjoy!
(ooh, spooky dead lady at the hospital, she's all blurry!)
(Let's touch the spooky blurry dead lady! Seriously, who reaches out to touch a complete stranger, much less one who is moaning "I'm freezing" in a raspy, death-rattle-ish way, at least leaning forward like that?)
(I don't know what Jessica Alba is doing, but Mun (Angelica Lee) was playing for a Blind Society type thing in her community)
(Feet! The horror!)
(The face that goes with the feet! Oddly, in the original, the old man wasn't bloody, his face was just sort of caved in.)
(Kid jumping out the window. Hmm...)
I really did want to post a comparison shot of this, but couldn't find it - aside from the amazing amount of glass, this exact shot showed up in the original, except with Angelica Lee instead of Jessica Alba (in that version, there were only a few pieces instead of a virtual storm of shrapnel). I just had to post this shot anyway because it really was so very close...
And the videos (make sure to turn up your volume!)
My body hasn't rebelled against me like this in years, and I really am quite upset, but as my temperature has finally returned to normal and seems to have leveled off, I hope that this will all be over by tomorrow.
If you've read this far, don't fear! This entry actually isn't all about my illness. I'm actually updating to talk about something I did while ill: my recent viewing of the original "The Eye."
Yes, for those of you that didn't know, "The Eye" is just one more of what seem to be a tidy package of horror remakes coming out of Asia (The Ring (1 and 2), The Grudge (1 and 2), Pulse, One Missed Call, etc). Now, I've had the privilege of watching most of the originals and comparing them to the American remakes, and I'm going to be honest - while the way we in America seem to destroy the story-lines of these movies always makes me feel a little bad, the production values and effects are pretty much always better. (I'm going to ramble a little and say, yeah, I know - our country as an audience are criticized for having weak imaginations concerning what we see on screen, visual dependency and a huge need for plot explanations at every turn, and therefore our effects "need" to be better to make a good movie (I don't believe this is always the case, but the general populace would seem to disagree with me, what with its love of explosions and all). ) In this rare situation though, I passed up on seeing a horror flick - that is, "The Eye" (2008), featuring Jessica Alba. I mostly discounted it because the story seemed so... well, used. Patient receives donor organs, starts doing/seeing odd things via cellular-memory, finds out donor was someone weird, blah blah blah - I can't tell you how many short films and stories out of the '80's and '90's I'd seen or read based on this plot. And it being an American remake, especially one whose previews seemed to promise a lot of jump-scares and action, it just didn't seem worth the cost of a ticket, not to mention the fact that it received absolutely horrible reviews from most critics, both acclaimed and blogger alike.
(For those of you who couldn't figure out the entire movie based on the previews, the movie is about a blind girl who acquires vision through a cornea transplant (I'm a little confused as to how in the world that would work, as the cornea has very little to do with the actual process of seeing, at least to my knowledge - in both movies it seems more like they transplanted the area directly around the pupil, or the iris), only to find that her new vision also allows her to see the spirits of the dead, as well as glimpses of the future, or oncoming tragedies.)
However, when a copy of "Gin Wai (or "Jian Gui")," (2002) that is, the original "The Eye" from Hong Kong, crossed into my hands for a short amount of time (free of cost) I couldn't resist watching it. What a delight! There really were no jump-scares to speak of, but the overall mood was lightly disturbing and highly intriguing. I found myself not so much attached to the main character, as to the ghosts she was seeing (an interesting twist which I'm almost positive was intentional). The artistic direction was also surprisingly strong - color schemes were subtle but constant for each scene and helped direct the mood, and I was forced into a sort of "nearsightedness" by a constant, nearly maddening blurring of the background that wore away as time progressed and, logically, Mun (the name of the main character in the HK original) adjusted to her new vision. While I'm sure I'll be greatly disappointed when I do finally watch the remake, I'm definitely going to rent or purchase it at first opportunity sheerly to see if it is one of the elusive examples of a direct translation of the original but with better effects. Why? Because of the previews! They were, from what I saw while watching the original, nearly frame for frame exactly the same thing.
Below are some of the images I was able to snatch off line based off comparisons I saw in the movie and what was available. I even managed to find some direct video comparisons on YouTube, so enjoy!
(ooh, spooky dead lady at the hospital, she's all blurry!)
(Let's touch the spooky blurry dead lady! Seriously, who reaches out to touch a complete stranger, much less one who is moaning "I'm freezing" in a raspy, death-rattle-ish way, at least leaning forward like that?)
(I don't know what Jessica Alba is doing, but Mun (Angelica Lee) was playing for a Blind Society type thing in her community)
(Feet! The horror!)
(The face that goes with the feet! Oddly, in the original, the old man wasn't bloody, his face was just sort of caved in.)
(Kid jumping out the window. Hmm...)
I really did want to post a comparison shot of this, but couldn't find it - aside from the amazing amount of glass, this exact shot showed up in the original, except with Angelica Lee instead of Jessica Alba (in that version, there were only a few pieces instead of a virtual storm of shrapnel). I just had to post this shot anyway because it really was so very close...
And the videos (make sure to turn up your volume!)
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